Toliet Paper & Dishes in Marriage

A few weeks ago I was going to bathroom when I realized I was out of toilet paper. Sheepishly I called for my husband to bring me some more (ah, the glamorous side of marriage :).  As he brought it in he said, "Here, I'll put it on the roll so I don't have to go back and change it later." I laughed but asked him what he meant. He told me that the toilet paper roll should be going "over" and I always place it "under."

That conversation was all in good fun - my husband wasn't annoyed, but I couldn't help but feel a little convicted. I remember a conversation that we had during our first year of marriage where he mentioned which direction the toilet paper should go, but I never could remember which way and since he never mentioned it again I just kept doing what I had always done. (Clearly, which direction the toilet paper should hang never even crossed my radar because even though I always place it under - I never realized that in all our years of marriage Jason goes back and changes it to over.) I challenged myself that day to always remember that he likes the roll going over and whenever I'm putting  roll on I think about him and go with his preference.

Yesterday, I was unloading the dishwasher when I started thinking about the differences in how my husband and I complete this chore. I put away all the dry dishes, but then lay out a dishtowel and anything still wet (top rack items like bottles and baby spoons) I tend to put on there to air dry. Since I run this dishwasher at least once daily it does always seem like there is a dishtowel on my counter full of dishes, but that doesn't bother me. Jason unloads the dishwasher differently. He takes a paper towel and hand drys all the items that are still wet and then puts everything away at once. I don't know why I never really paid attention to this difference before, but I was convicted of being selfish in the matter.

I'm sure I could come up with other examples, but the toilet paper and the dishwasher are two ways of me continuing to do things the way I have always done them without any regard to the way Jason thinks things should be done. For some reason, I assume I know the best way to unload a dishwasher. I don't dislike Jason's way and as far as I know my way doesn't bother him (he's never mentioned it unlike the toilet paper), but I have to wonder that if he chooses to put all the dishes away at once - would he prefer me to as well?

I don't know about you, but sometimes, I can be "that wife" I promised I would never be. The one who is semi-critical of the way her husband does chores, prepares lunch, or takes care of the children. I get this complex of being a domestic goddess (which I am not!) and so I do things the way I think is best or the way I've always done them without giving much thought to how my husband might like to see things done. I want to please my husband and make his home life enjoyable -- so paying attention to how he prefers to put away dishes and hang the toilet paper might be small ways I can help accomplish those goals. It will require me to pay attention to how he does things and notice the times he might change something after I do it. It will also require me to ask him, listen to his input, and change anything he might suggest. He very well might not care about most things, but some things he might.  Either way, he is worth the extra effort and flexibility! I'm saying sayonara to my arrogant attitude that my way is the best way!