The Balanced Life Myth

There is a lot of talk today about trying to find the right balance. Balance of family and work, balance of nurturing a marriage and raising children, balance of spiritual service and spiritual growth. Balance, balance, balance. I know that often times I want our family to be balanced. I don't want us to be child centered, but I want our family time to include everyone. I want to find the time to keep the house clean, but also stay caught up with everything else. I want to be the perfect wife, perfect mother, and perfect friend, but I am a sinner. I don't know about you, but for me, it is hard to find the right balance and, at times, balance can be a stressful ideal to pursue.

Recently, a staff member at our church said this, "Balance isn't a destination, it is a symptom." He pointed out that if you're seeking balance - then you are showing a symptom that your life isn't focused on the Lord. The Word says in Matthew 6:33, "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all of these things shall be given to you as well." We need to trust that Biblical truth. If we are seeking the Kingdom first... everything thing else will fall into place.

Matthew 14:1-23 is a great example of how Jesus' life wasn't a balanced life. Upon hearing the news of his cousin's death, Jesus tried to retreat (I assume to grieve), but a large crowd followed him. He taught them and ministered to them and it was in that setting that the feeding of the 5,000 occurred. It was only after the long teaching and the famous miracle that Jesus was able to go off by himself. In the margin of my Bible I wrote this after verse 23, "Finally he was alone! Jesus fed the 5,000 instead of grieving for John. Not a balanced life - a God centered life!"

Talk about a paradigm shift! To go from striving for balance in my own life and praying for my husband to successfully balance work and family... to throwing that all out the window and simply strive to seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness. That's it. That is all I am striving for - the pressure of balancing everything has finally been lifted.

What does that look like for us wives? 

Well, it will look different for each of us, but one thing that will be the same is that it will mean putting our relationship with the Lord first. Our needs will be met through Him alone and "little things" that come up can just as easily go away because our focus isn't on them (or how they disrupt our idea of balance). The big things that do come up will be met with  confidence because the changes we will be making will be done in order for us to seek first His Kingdom. It will mean taking a servants role at times, being center stage at other times, and being flexible. Speaking the truth in love, offering complete forgiveness, and initiating great sex with our husband are also ways this will manifest.  This notion will require listening to the Spirit's leading on how to pray for and spend time with each family member. Some days, seeking first His Kingdom and righteousness will be require going on a retreat with our husband, or taking a child out on a date, or saying no to a ministry opportunity in order to stay with our family. Other times, it will be saying yes to an invitation to serve in order to to be the hands and feet of Christ. It will look different on a daily basis, but the goal of each day will be the same: Wake up and seek first the Kingdom.

If we do that and pray that our husband does the same... I will know that "all these things" (aka everything else) will be given to us as well. Whew, pressure is off! Good riddance, balance!

Praying for us all to live God-centered lives rather than balanced lives!