That evening, we decided at the last minute to go shopping for some art work. We fed the children a fast dinner, loaded them up, and then drove them into the next town to look at one specific store. Neither my husband or I were impressed with this store's selection and left the store 30 minutes later empty handed. My take on the evening was that even though we didn't buy anything, we knew what we didn't want and now didn't have to stop by that one store again. I would almost call that a success. My husband, however, was very frustrated that we couldn't find anything. He said at least three times, "how disappointing..." and he regretted that we spent our evening that way. I actually became slightly annoyed by his attitude because, to me, it wasn't a big deal. It was in that moment, that I began to laugh out loud.
I told my husband that I know there is a marriage lesson to be drawn out that day, but I couldn't put my finger on exactly what it was. The annoying part is that I still can't. It might have something to do with understanding and being sensitive to the things that bother (or don't bother) my spouse. My husband isn't uptight about housework like I am and I don't usually get disappointed in unsuccessful shopping trips. It might be a lesson on my reaction as a wife. In both situations, my response was less than ideal. I snapped at my husband when he wasn't sympathetic to my frustrations and I was not very sympathetic to his disappointments. While I have always known we have different personalities, interests, and perceptions... in daily life, I sometimes forget that and react only on my perception. So, perhaps another lesson for that day would be understanding my mate's perceptions and not reacting towards him when mine are different. I should have taken in stride his comments about "everything working out just fine" and I should have had a more encouraging word and listening ear to his frustrations.

If you have any insights into a lesson the Lord might be teaching me through all of this - I would LOVE to hear! I know His lessons for me are far from over!! :)
interesting. we deal with stuff like this too. In the first 5 years we were married, it seems like it happened all the time...then less over the next 4 years...and then TONS more once we brought out children home...as we are still getting used to our roles as parents.
ReplyDeleteI am also not sure what the lesson is in all this. I know I need to be more understanding of my husband's particular likes/dislikes/frustrations/joys etc...even when I don't relate to them!