Good is the Enemy

Over the last week I have had the same conversations with about 5 different people. The dialogue beings with us talking about family, priorities, work, and such. It doesn't take long until we find ourselves in the same situation trying to figure out what is the best for our families. It is in this time that we all come to the conclusion that good is the enemy of the best.

For example, on Saturday my husband had a leadership conference he was supposed to participate in, but he chose to stay home because it was the only day this week that we were able to have uninterrupted family time. He chose to say no to what was good in order to say yes to the best. I talked with another friend this week who works outside the home and she talked about the need to remember that she is a wife and mom first and that might mean saying no to some career opportunities in order to say yes to the best. And yet another friend of mine is single and we talked about how she shouldn't just date/aim to marry a good guy, but wait for the best. Good is the enemy of the best.

For me, this thinking doesn't come naturally. There are good things that I want to participate in and commit to; yet in doing so I am sacrificing the best. It burdens my heart when I have to say no to things and so I make excuses or come up with some rationalization for why I am participating in this "good thing." Sadly, however, it never fails that ultimately the best thing is what suffers when I choose that which is good. This doesn't mean you say no to every good thing that comes along, but that you are careful (and prayerful) to evaluate if it is adding to or taking away from the best.

While I sincerely dislike saying no to good things (playdates with friends, speaking engagements, volunteer opportunities, taking the time to write blog posts, etc. :); I have to go back and reevaluate what is best in my life. I have three young children and so playdates are important for me and my children, however, my husband works sporadic hours so he is mainly gone on evenings and weekends. I strive to say no to playdates if Jason is home and only have them if he is working. This actually leaves me with only a few times a months to have those good things in my life, but I have to continually remind myself that being home with Jason is the best. That is only one example, but I could list so many more. Some in which I am successful about sticking to and others that I still struggle with (saying no to certain ministry opportunities is my personal weakness). In my current stage of life my bests are limited to: daily time with the Lord, spending time with my husband, and investing in my children. I'm sure as seasons change so do "the bests" and, save daily time with the Lord, no one's life is a mirror of another's so "the bests" in your life might look different from mine.

What are the bests in your life and what good things are actually their enemies?

As this conversation took place several times recently I came to the conclusion that we all find ourselves struggling to say no to the good things in order to say yes to the best. What a great thing for us as wives to be on our guard about. Going a step further, what a great prayer for us to pray for our husband as well. We can pray that instead of a desire to climb up the corporate ladder or perfecting his golf swing, that he would desire to spend more time at home dating his wife and leading his children. Not all husbands are work-a-holics or avid golfers, but all of our husbands have ambitions and hobbies that might interfere with the best if not guarded carefully. Let us pray for them to be wise and mindful regarding what is good and what is truly the best. Praying that our husbands only choose God's best for their lives in every area!