Tuesday, May 8, 2012

It's a Choice!

I have been battling with an auto-immune disease since 2003. Some days are harder than others, but honestly, over the past several years I have not had to deal with it very much. I've been blessed with three children back-to-back and pregnancy sends the disease into remission. However, right now, it is back with a vengeance.

For the past month or so my body has been hurting, I'm feeling fatigued, and I'm just not myself. Pretty much every morning my husband can tell by my expression and voice how I'm feeling and he'll simply ask, "You are not feeling well today, are you?" To that I just shake my head in response. It's been a rough month in that department. It seems to take more effort than I have to simply take a step.

Yesterday, I told Jason in the car that I notice I'm not his normal peppy and happy wife when I'm not feeling well. I told him I didn't like that and that I wanted to be happy and filled with joy, but I can't be because my body hurts so much. He just listened and told me he understood (he's a winner!).

This morning, I was driving and thinking about that conversation I had with him and all of a sudden the Lord said, "It's a choice, Darby."

Wow.

It is a choice to have joy despite being in physical pain. I don't have to let my body determine my mood. That truth was very freeing to me and I came home and told my husband all about it. I told him how I want to choose to be happy even if I am not feeling well! And tonight my attitude was different. I kept mumbling "I choose joy." And it worked!

I can apply the practice of choosing joy to everything! When I come home to a messy house - I choose joy. When my plans for the evening backfire - I choose joy. When I'm waiting in a long line at the grocery store - I choose joy. When all three children are crying- I choose joy. When my husband hurts my feelings - I choose joy. When my husband disappoints me - I choose joy. When my husband comes home from work and needs to do things before helping me with the children - I choose joy. When my husband fill in the blank - I choose joy!

Are you choosing joy too?


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2 comments:

  1. JulieMay 9, 2012 at 1:22 PM

    I am so sorry you are not feeling well lately. I too suffer from auto-immune health problems and feel terrible most of the time. There are days when I do better at choosing joy, but A LOT of the time, I just complain about how I can't be happy when I am feeling terrible. I know that it is a choice, but I make the wrong choice most of the time. In fact, your last paragraph made it very clear to me how often I could choose joy, yet don't.

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  2. Darby DuggerMay 10, 2012 at 6:21 PM

    I make the wrong choice so often too! My new goal is choosing Joy more, but of course, that doesn't come easy! Praying for you, my friend, as we journey towards joy together!

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