Learning from Someone Wiser (a Guest Post by Sarah Beals).

Recently, a friend asked me how my prayer life for Jason has changed with each new child. I took a while to ponder that question, I talked to Jason about it, and then came to the conclusion, that while I do pray for him - my prayers aren't really deepening, evolving, or growing in ways he needs them to be. So, I immediately thought about my new blogger friend, Sarah Beals, whom I have gotten to know through her blog (which is amazing and a must read for all). I felt the Lord leading me to ask her about this topic because:

• She has more children than I do (she has 5 so clearly she is experienced in praying for your husband in the midst of a growing family).
• She is homeschooling them (which is an inspiration to me as we are on the path to be a homeschooling family as well).
• They are all teenagers (so she is much wiser than I in the things of parenting and marriage and how it all mushes together). 

So here you will find her respond to my request. Her words moved me and I pray they will be an inspirational for you as well:  



I grew up in an old school, traditional home: my mother cared for the children inside the home and my father worked outside the home to provide monetarily for us. I entered marriage with this worldview.

Things have changed quite a bit culturally, since I was a child, and in 2012, many parents share the work loads of both raising children and providing income for the family.

But back then, as a young mother, I assumed that raising and caring for children was entirely my sphere. And because I saw it as my sphere, I didn’t accept much help from my husband. Oh, he wanted to help but I didn’t usually like the way he “helped”, so I did it myself. This became our norm.

My mother-in-law offered me some wise advice one day as I was pushing away from the Sunday dinner table, getting up to deal with yet another discipline problem with one of our children. “You shouldn’t discipline the kids when Peter is right here.” she warned. “When he is home, he should discipline the kids. Expect him to help. If you don’t include him now, he may never help.”

These words stuck with me. Our children needed the input and experience of both parents, not just one. This provided balance for our kids.

It is true that he might let the kids run around with mismatched outfit, shoes off and hair all wild, and that was okay occasionally. They were having fun.
He might forget about their scheduled lunch time and play with them until late in the afternoon then feed them late, but it would not kill them.
He might not watch them exactly as I would, but he was still mindful of protecting them.
And he might decide to keep them all up after our schedules bedtime...and it would all be okay.

Peter and I have different outlooks on life, but we both love our children and want what’s best for them.

When my children were babies, I would pray, “Lord, help him to remember to do XYZ.” (XYZ being whatever he wasn’t doing that I felt he needed to be doing!) This was my “genie in the bottle prayer”--the one where you tell God what you want, as though He were there to grant you your wishes.

As they grew into toddlers, I’d pray “Lord, help us to agree on XYZ so that our children will turn out right.”  (Still holding on to delusions that my way was correct.)

Now that my kids are older and I am more mature in my faith, I realize that Peter is the God ordained leadership for our family. So my prayer has become  “Lord, thank you for Peter’s leadership. Keep Him close to you, so that he will guide our family in a godly way. Protect him from evil and from Satan’s attacks and help me to trust you as I follow Him. Help me to see his leadership as your sovereign design for this family, and rest in the fact that you are leading all of us, through him, in a way that is good for our family.”